Rusty

I’m finding it difficult to find my voice.  It’s been so long since I wrote anything of the nature of a blog or an essay.  I’m Rusty at the composition which is inhibiting what I write.  I am also feeling pangs of doubt and misgivings about the content of what I put here.  Since I last maintained a blog I have graduated and gotten a job so I’m concerned that what I write here may in some way get me burnt at work.  This is having a chilling effect on what I write.  Since my last blog I have also gained a wife and a daughter.  It is a very real possibility my wife might read this at some point which is also making me think twice about what I put down in writing.  I am very annoyed with myself for allowing these concerns to dampen my expression of my thoughts.

Autoeroticism was a balls-to-the-wall no holds barred stream of conscious and profanity.  It was glorious both to behold and to create.  I want that back but I’m grown old and timid.  I need to tap that vein of pure rage and disdain for all concerns again.  I need to get my head on straight!  I’m not old enough to be pining for my younger days damnit!

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